he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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