I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
