I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
