question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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