therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize