Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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