giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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