how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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