Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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