I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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