Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Vodka?
Forever.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
