btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
