Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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