I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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