I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
