i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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