i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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