we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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