Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I came so hard my ears popped.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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