I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
