I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
