you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
