I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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