i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
