Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
