I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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