I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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