Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
