he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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