Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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