They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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