Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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