Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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