I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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