TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
