Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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