Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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