i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
