so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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