Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
