it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
