i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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