mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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