am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
