FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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