At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
