loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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