STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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