so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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