What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
