if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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