He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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