The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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