Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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