My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
