I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
