kristin has been a bad kristin
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
