i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
