a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize