I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
