Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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