fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
