If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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