Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
