All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize