she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
