This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
