So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
