so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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