How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.