I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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